Expanding upon a comment I posted ElseWEB...

In one of the other spheres I gravitate around on the web, someone asked about connections to the gods and goddesses and divine help, both with connecting to said deities and mental health in general. I'm gonna post my comment here, and then expand upon it a little. Mostly cos this is a better medium for long, drawn-out rambling and partly because, well, this is my space so I'm not impinging on anyone else's point here.

I'll preface this by saying I don't really have any clear contact with the gods. I'm rather in awe of people who (genuinely) do, but that's not how it works for me. However, I do have a kind of UPG that comes from a very visceral "gut feeling" I get in regards to the gods. And that is what this is based on. Nothing I worked through logically or rationally, just a feeling.

Yeah, I know some people out there (claim to) have actual meetings with the gods in which they chat - I always imagine this to US TV chat shows. That doesn't work for me. Even if the gods did decide to approach me in that manner, I'd be more likely to check myself into the local asylum than probe for spiritual insight. Let's face it, hallucinating in person conversations with mythical figures is a bit out there, isn't it? That's out of the range of normal, consensual reality and a strong symptom of mental health issues, surely?

Yeah, so, for me all I get is a particular kind of gut instinct. A feeling that usually relates to the nature of the gods, other entities or reality itself. Occasionally, ravens look at me a bit funny. But I'm fine with that now.

I often say that Odin is more likely to be the guy putting problems in your way, rather than doing anything more positive and compassionate to help. But I think this is unfair on him cos I feel all the gods are like that to some extent. Once a relationship has been established, I think the gods can grow to care about us - but what they offer is a very tough love.

I've said before in previous posts that Odin isn't a terribly nice chap. I've heard a few different claims of a touchy-feely Odin coming to the aid of a follower when they were feeling down. I'm not saying they're lying, but this behaviour flies in the face of every single bit of lore we have that mentions him. I'm sympathetic to the idea that a lot of Old One Eye's stories may originally have been attributed to other gods, but it was in the chronicler's interests to link them with Odin to support his role as "All Father". Never in any of the stories has he been a cuddler, though.

Odin would just as likely put obstacles and trials in your path to see how easily you break, rather than offer a smidgeon of compassion. Myself, if Odin were to come to me offering compassion, sympathy and a helping hand, I'd be very suspicious - and not only for the aforementioned hallucinatory/delusion-based reasons. He is as much of a trickster as Loki, and arguably less reliable. Still, we all love him for many other reasons - not least of which he looks very cool in his wide-brimmed hat.

This has me kinda thinking of the goddesses of our pantheon being a bit like stereotypical "Northern battleaxe" wives and mothers. They nag and offer harsh discipline. They give you a clip around the ear "just because" and are lean on sympathy.

But, equally, when the police come around inquiring about stolen stereos, they defend you to the hilt - despite the back bedroom being full of knock off stereos. They treat their "children" harshly - but mainly to prepare them for the even harsher world past the front gate. Because of this, it can feel like they're not listening - they are, but they're rooting for you to overcome the situation yourself. Might not be a very helpful view, I accept - but it's weirdly comforting to me.

The gods aren't gonna bail you out. We're not talking new testament, Jesusy sympathy here. Hel, even the christian god could be a bit of a bastard - ever read any Old Testament? The gods of our pantheon want us to think, work and survive by the merits of our own wits. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he'll eat for the rest of his life. Well, our gods think like that, too. Give someone succor now and they'll be okay again for a few days - but they'll need succor again soon enough. The world doesn't stop throwing shit at you. If you learn to deal with that shit yourself, you'll handle yourself better next time life tries to crap on you.

That's not to say there's no room for weakeness in heathenry. No-one is perfect and we all have our neuroses, triggers and Achilles' heels. I would say, though, that the expectation is that we are all working on our weaknesses and imperfections to try to overcome them - or reduce their impact. Impediments are not excuses to hide behind, but struggles to overcome.

Besides, we don't need our gods to give us emotional support - that is what our friends and family (kith and kin) are for!

"...For Man is the joy of Man."

For a change, the subject is actually heathen today. Coming, as it does, from the Havamal. I'm not normally a big fan of the Havamal. It is a bit piecemeal for my liking and comes across as a dumping ground for dozens of odd snippets of quotes, probably taken out of context.

I have a friend who is quite a solitary person. He doesn't really keep in touch with his family. I'm not sure what his relationships with his other friends are like, but we only indulge in occasional, superficial interaction these days. So, I've come to think of him as a bit of a loner, you might say. The other thing about him is that he sometimes has trouble dealing with life. Emotionally, he can be quite fragile. Like me, he too has a long and bitter history with the black dog of depression. Like me, he shares issues with self image now and then.

As a heathen, I have a tendency to link those two aspects of his character. The only reason I feel I handle life's tests better than he does is that I keep in touch with my extended family. I also have a network of friends with whom I am very close. So, when life bowls me a googlie, I have them to fall back on. Not really in the sense of sharing my woes with them or using them as a sounding board for my feelings. Just knowing that I am a part of their lives and they are a part of mine helps me get through most trials and tribulations with fewer emotional upheavals than he suffers.

Heathenry is about being part of a community. Even solitary heathens are only solitary in the sense they don't have other heathens with whom they associate. They still have family and friends who support them. At least, I hope they do. No man is an island. Nor are women.

As I have always contended, my family is a big part of my heathenry, despite not being heathen themselves. I know some heathens have issues with their families which preclude the kind of relationships that I enjoy with mine. But people do say that the families of the twenty first century are made up of friends - that is very true. We all need that support network. They also provide a greater whole to which we can offer our strength, fealty and toil.

Archived Blog post: Finding gods...

Whole browsing some old haunts in various corners of the Internet, I came across another old blog entry that I'd written quite some time ago.

Rereading it and finding it mostly still applies to how I feel, I thought it might be nice to share:

Finding Gods In Strange Little Places

Entry posted by (me!) · December 4, 2013

Well you have heard of my beliefs on gods. How they exist as much within my consciousness as they are extant in the universe. (Mainly because I can only experience the universe itself within the confines of my own mind and senses - but let's not get into that).

 

There are times, though, when I feel closest to being able to communicate with any divinities that might be out there. One of those times, for instance, is when I am socialising in the pub with friends. In those gaps in the conversation, as each of us laughs, takes another draught and considers our next words. It feels almost as though I'm part of a ritual that has been conducted as long as man has found delight in his fellow man. Rather than just a few friends drinking in Manchester before an NMA gig, we could be anyone else from any other time speaking similar words, drinking similar brews, feeling similar drives.

 

In that gap in the conversation, I become acutely aware of my being simply one of a long line of individuals, stretching off into both the past and the future. All subjected to the same whims of fate, all with the same concerns and troubles. All eventually meeting the same end (but mostly ignoring that fact, for the time being).

 

Sometimes, even this atheist will try to extend his hearing up and over the din of chatter from other revellers to see if there is anything else to be heard. Any message on the wind or another point of view to be given from some invisible guest.

 

If they ever do chip in their twopenneth, though, I never seem to notice... ;)