So, I have enjoyed most of my day off in typical style for me. Sitting and pondering the big questions, interspersed with some gaming, websurfing and cramming my face with food.
Recently, I received the shocking news that a very close friend that I lived with during my time in Sweden died back in 2009. Conflicting reports state it was either down to a brain embolysm or suicide. Or, perhaps, a combination of the two. From what I can tell, she had a pretty stressful, upsetting time of things up to the end. I only hope she now finds the peace that seemed to elude her in this world.
Such news can't help but loom in the mind somewhat. Even though it happened some time ago, it is a recent development for me. I've been thinking how our mutual wyrd seemed to intertwine for a while, but how things gradually fell apart. Necessarily so as, close as we were, I wouldn't give up my current family or anything - and I surely would not be with them now had I not returned from Sweden when I did.
The person I was then and the person I am now are, while still ostensibly me, very different. Had things gone differently, who knows what might have happened. But the norns had a different fate in store for me. Though I can't help wondering if her fate would have been different were I still there. Or, at least, were I still in communication with her regularly.
I often think of her as my valkyrie, to some extent. While I was artistically minded, aware of heathenry and enamoured of Scandinavia before we met, she certainly played an important role in cementing all those things into my personality and psyche. I have her to thank for my well-developed appreciation for dark humour, darker poetry and artistic minimalism.
Of course, I have another valkyrie now, my wife of three years. And a budding valkyrie-to-be in my young daughter. I've spent today considering how the lessons that my late friend taught me can be used to help me better protect and nurture my family.
Rest well, Merja.
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